THE HEATHERLY
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Eliminate Tuesdays!

3/24/2018

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I don't remember when my brain finally put together the fact that Tuesdays are completely pointless, but my argument for removing Tuesday from the week began decades ago.

What value do Tuesdays actually bring to our lives?

If you ask me--nothing. Nothing at all. It is a garbage day, wasted by many.

Key Points:
  • If you're one of the many folks who head to an office Monday through Friday (M-F'ers), you may experience a small sense of optimism on Mondays--a fresh start, if you will. Expectations are lower, especially in the earlier hours of a Monday. We're all giving each other a little more space to recover from the weekend.
  • Wednesday is Hump Day! We can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
  • Thursday is Friday Eve! You may still have work to do before you close out the week and head home, but you have plenty of time!
  • Friday is Friday, People. Even if you're not an M-F'er, you probably benefit from the euphoria of those who do. Things are a little more relaxed on Fridays too--hello, it's casual day for most of us M-F'ers.
  • Holidays rarely fall on a Tuesday.

Tuesday tends to be the day of the week where there are tons of meetings and no excuses. The pressure is ON. Any hope or optimism from Monday burned in a hot, stinky dumpster fire around 4:12 p.m. that afternoon. When you get home on Tuesday night, you probably have to make dinner because leftovers from the weekend are gone. There are probably chores from the weekend that need to be wrapped up or put away or finalized.

There is no rest for the M-F'ers on Tuesday.

I propose that Tuesday be eliminated from the week--it has lost any relevance that it may have had upon it's initiation.

Concerned about your birthday disappearing? What good was a birthday on a Tuesday anyway? It ain't easy to get M-F'ers out of the house on a Tuesday night, what with all that damned work to do.

I know you have questions--I don't have all the answers here, but I'll try.

"You're insane. Who hates a day of the week?"

Ummm, hello??? How many people have you heard of that hate Mondays...?
This person started a change.org petition just to change the name! BABY STEPS.

"Wait--if everyone hates Mondays so much, why wouldn't we get rid of Mondays instead of Tuesdays?"

Then, Tuesdays would just become Mondays and there wouldn't be much of a change. And, as I mentioned before for some people, Mondays offer a fresh start. Some of us need those.

"I'm on board, Heather, but how the hell do we do this?"

I'm glad you asked, imaginary blog reader!

I have no idea. I'm just bitchin' and wishin'.

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Confessions of an Un-mothered Wife

11/18/2015

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Picture
Not sure if this is a legit Lichtenstein, but it's definitely his style. Apologies to the artist for my lack of credit due. I am a shit.
​As most of my writable thoughts come to me, this one came to me while I was doing something else. Whether it was more important than writing is debatable, but that's neither here nor there.

The cliche of "Confessions of an Unwed Mother" came to mind while I had the idea of writing some kind of memoir.

Somehow,  Un-mothered Wife doesn't have the same "ring". (pun intended)

I feel like we've heard plenty of confessions from unwed mothers and, well, they're just not that interesting anymore. No offense to those unwed mothers, but...I've heard the story more than once and...*yawn*

Aren't you curious what confessions a woman who has chosen not to have children has? Aren't you curious WHY? As an un-mothered wife, I consider the reasons fairly banal and not surprising...quite logical in fact. But, some people might not get it. 

Oddly, I find great satisfaction in the stunned look that I typically receive and I can almost hear what they're thinking. "Uhhh, how do I react? Is this a test? What do I say to her? What do we talk about now?"

My response to that is simple--"Duh, vodka."

It amuses me that once you have children, there is simply nothing better to talk about. Actually, I know people who don't have children who are stunned when I say that I'm not going to have children and they suddenly can't think of ANYTHING to talk about. Or, they say something incredibly weird, like, "Yeah, me too." More than likely, unless they're over the age of 35, they haven't thought about a life without having children.

It's just what you do when you're a woman. You get married, you build a homestead, and you have babies. Not necessarily in that order, but you get the drift.

But, what if...?

What if you've fallen madly in love with someone who can't have children?
What if you don't actually LIKE children? 
What if you like children, but you like giving them back to their parents and drinking more vodka?
What if you played out the "fairytale" in your head and kids just messed up the whole, traveling, sleeping, fancy car dream?

The glorious thing about being a "modern woman" is that you have a billion choices.

My advice is to follow your bliss. Do the thing(s) that make you feel good. Life is too short to spend it any other way.

The confession of THIS un-mothered wife?

I'll never tell.

But it probably has something to do with vodka.
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