In 2009, I ended my 29th year on this Earth with a bold middle finger to the entire world. I was mad as hell. I was reckless and destructive and I did not give a fuck. I made bad choices, I said all the wrong things, I closed myself off and indulged in every thing that was bad for me.
I began my 30th year feeling defeated and with little hope that life would improve, but while wallowing in that defeat, I shed a few bad habits and started feeling better. Feeling better meant shedding a few more things (or people) that were weighing me down.
My 31st year was loud and busy and filled with the joy that true love brings. I had a tan, I celebrated, I drank, I cheered, I cried, I finally found the man that I had been waiting for. The man that I didn't believe could possibly exist.
The years following were faded versions of the ones before, filled with love and life and work, laughter and good times. We traveled to beautiful places and listened to some of the most amazing music I have ever heard. Once in a lifetime experiences were had and some experiences were gladly left behind.
The 39th year had many wonderful ups including selling our home in Dacula and finally moving forward with building our forever home. That joy came with extreme stress and some heartbreaking lows, coming to a head the week after Thanksgiving with a car accident that left me whirling in my anxiety and feeling too exhausted to go on. Sleepless nights were followed by days that went by in a blur, but many words were written in the process.
I believe that every thing happens for a reason and I understand that life is not as sweet without the bitter moments. You just have to accept them and move on to find more sweetness. That said, I'm happy to be saying goodbye to 2019, but not to a decade that brought me the love of my life and some pretty wonderful adventures and friends.
Cheers to the next decade, may there be many more sweet days than bitter ones.