Today, as I was trying to come up with something to share in this sad, ignored space, it occurred to me that part of the problem is that I am having trouble deciding what I should or should not share on the big, scary internet.
A million years ago when I was blogging daily (if I skipped even one day, people reached out to make sure that I was okay), I just shared whatever was going on in my life with no regard for who would want to read it, if my quarter life crisis antics would get back to my employer and ruin future job prospects, or whether or not my stories would hurt the people in my life that I love the most. I was young and stupid (and usually drunk) (and usually with one of my parents) and social media didn't exist beyond having "blogfriends". I rarely (if ever) named names when calling people out or drooling over a crush (even if I knew they wouldn't mind or even wanted to be named).
Life is different now. I'm not trying to do this alone while my parents watch, hoping that I'll make the right decisions and catching me when I fall.
I share my life with someone that I love with all of my heart. Back in the old days, I didn't think there was anyone out there for me and I was totally okay with that. I never hunted love--just connection. And, when your connection with your friends is better than any connection you've ever had in a dating relationship, you stick with what you know works. But when my soulmate pulled up in the Love Truck, I hopped in and never looked back. We're in this life together and I would never want to open our relationship to the horrors of the internet.
The other big commitment in my life is to how I make money, also known as a job. The internet is a dangerous place for a creative person with a day job... While your art shouldn't represent the organization who provides your paycheck (if yours does, I'm totally jelly), what you do reflects on that organization even if it wasn't during business hours, even if you didn't identify yourself as working for that organization, even if you meant well... If you put something on the internet that someone disagrees with, they will find your employer and call for your job. I've seen it happen and I don't want it to ever happen to me.
While I would love to throw a middle finger to all types of censorship, this blog at this stage of my life requires censorship.
My activity here is stunted by my need to protect certain aspects of my life, so I'm left wondering...
How much is just enough?
A million years ago when I was blogging daily (if I skipped even one day, people reached out to make sure that I was okay), I just shared whatever was going on in my life with no regard for who would want to read it, if my quarter life crisis antics would get back to my employer and ruin future job prospects, or whether or not my stories would hurt the people in my life that I love the most. I was young and stupid (and usually drunk) (and usually with one of my parents) and social media didn't exist beyond having "blogfriends". I rarely (if ever) named names when calling people out or drooling over a crush (even if I knew they wouldn't mind or even wanted to be named).
Life is different now. I'm not trying to do this alone while my parents watch, hoping that I'll make the right decisions and catching me when I fall.
I share my life with someone that I love with all of my heart. Back in the old days, I didn't think there was anyone out there for me and I was totally okay with that. I never hunted love--just connection. And, when your connection with your friends is better than any connection you've ever had in a dating relationship, you stick with what you know works. But when my soulmate pulled up in the Love Truck, I hopped in and never looked back. We're in this life together and I would never want to open our relationship to the horrors of the internet.
The other big commitment in my life is to how I make money, also known as a job. The internet is a dangerous place for a creative person with a day job... While your art shouldn't represent the organization who provides your paycheck (if yours does, I'm totally jelly), what you do reflects on that organization even if it wasn't during business hours, even if you didn't identify yourself as working for that organization, even if you meant well... If you put something on the internet that someone disagrees with, they will find your employer and call for your job. I've seen it happen and I don't want it to ever happen to me.
While I would love to throw a middle finger to all types of censorship, this blog at this stage of my life requires censorship.
My activity here is stunted by my need to protect certain aspects of my life, so I'm left wondering...
How much is just enough?
